Thursday, July 8, 2010
DIVORCE: THE NEXT GENERATION
During the past few weeks we are going through another change that initially caught us off guard. When the word "divorce" was mentioned and then declared as a fact in our life, we were hit with a tsunami of emotions. Disbelief, disappointment, and despair began our journey through these times.
My husband and I are both children of divorce, so naturally we carry our own personal experiences in our hearts. Not to go into too many details here about how divorce was dealt with in our childhoods, just let me say that it wasn't pleasant for either one of us. Emotions ran high, blame was thrown at each other, and feelings were hurt for many years. That is what we both experienced and that formed our knowledge basis of what was "normal" with divorce.
Before the MOVE from the house to the apartment, we were around the divorcing couple and their sweet little boy. Helpfulness, attentiveness and kindness were abundantly in evidence. The soon to be divorced couple worked as a cohesive couple, which confused us.
As the weeks have passed confusion keeps clouding my thinking. Why could this couple work together to break up and not work together to stay as a couple? No ugly words; no rolling of eyes when help was requested; no impatiences shown by either one; and the list continues.
Throughout all of this I redirect my mind to the one goal that we have all pledged to honor: The Grandlove deserves to have the very best life possible.
New times, new way of dealing with the age old problem: Divorce while keeping the spotlight of love still shining on the precious child.