As the weeks of this pregnancy pass, I try to wrap my head around the fact that this child is healthy and will NOT suffer as my Grandlove has. He will meet and KEEP all of his milestones. He will run circles around me, while babbling toddler words and capturing my heart and soul. When he has the regular childhood bumps and spills, my heart won't stop and my breathing will continue its regular pace. Doctors' appointments will be few and far in between and only for the "regular" little people stuff. Clothes will be outgrown; shoes' soles will be worn out; toes will poke out of ends of socks from running around barefoot outside; food will be thrown from the highchair or painted on chubby cheeks with curious fingers; t-shirts will become so soiled from the multitude of staining items, that even using them as dust rags isn't an option; toys will find tender feet, because they are left out after a play date; crust less peanut butter sandwiches will be eaten on a daily basis; T-ball games will be attended, in spite of the hot weather; report cards will be displayed proudly on the fridge, along with drawings; and stinky boy smells will become daily perfume that will bring a smile to my reluctant soul. When I think of how different this little person will be, I honestly can't even begin to grasp the reality that will be mine in just a few months. Hang on with me and we will see what lessons this new journey teaches me.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
This picture of my sweet, precious, Grandlove and his future brother (with his mom, of course) was provided by a very wonderful person. Jamie took many hours and many photos during this sunny day to capture the best of all of us. She does this for families with children who are fighting for every day of their lives. That few hours was filled with laughter, no medication, no tears and for that we are forever grateful. Thank you, JME Portraits of Cypress, Texas. You and your family are part of ours, now.
I wanted to use this picture for my blog, because this blog is about our future, one with a little boy who will be unlike his big brother, my Grandlove. The past few years I have adjusted how I "grandmother" to the point that thinking about a grandson, who is different from the Grandlove, scares the beejeeus out of me.
I know how to do feeding tubes; around the clock medication; pediatric hospital stays; botox injections for spasticity; physical therapy, occupational therapy; speech therapy, wheelchairs; specialized car seats; AFOs; wrist splints; communication switches; IEPs; ARDs; and Hospice of South Texas. Each item listed has become ingrained in my everyday "brain" and has become second nature to me. It's nothing to deal with a runaway feeding tube (unaware that it's unhooked) or juggling the appointments that fill my calendar. The trade off is that our daily routine has given me a false sense that I can handle a three year old. Only when we are out and about and I see other little guys running about causing normal little boy chaos that I realize that I don't know how to grandmother that type of boy. How do I answer all the "Why?" questions that little boys gleefully throw back at adults? How do I keep a little boy safe, while he explores all the places in his world that aren't meant for little boys, but little fingers always find? How do I keep up with the energy of a little boy who only has two speeds, fast and asleep?
Don't misunderstand, I pray everyday that our new addition will be able to do all the things that little boys are suppose to do, and right on schedule and keep on doing everything "perfect" throughout his whole life. His big brother is the sweetest, most precious little guy in our life, so we are hoping that the sweetness will be a brotherly trait. If by a slim chance I ever need them, I've already been practicing my lines to this little rascal, once he finds his own voice and spirit. IF he ever decides to try to talk "smart" to me, I will simply remind him, "Your big brother NEVER talked back to me." In fact that line can work for many situations of being naughty.
Just in case all that doesn't work out, I have already called dibs on my Grandlove. He fits just fine in my heart and on my shoulder.