Tuesday, June 1, 2010


While I was skimming the classified section yesterday, curiosity pulled me to ads for job opportunities. Since I am qualified to work at the college here, I checked out the possibilities under their heading.

It was then that I found the perfect job offering, it didn't require physical exertion that would impact my fragile back; extreme hot weather wouldn't affect my health; dressy, professional clothes weren't required; and preparations for my position would be minimal. Pay wasn't that great, but with all the "perks" who was I to question my good fortune for this discovery of my next employment.

With all these upsides to the job, there is one teeny-tiny problem: In spite of all the positive sides of the job, I don't think I am cut out for the offering. Posing for the art students in the nude wouldn't work very well, because how would the students ever be able to draw when they were either laughing or closing their eyes in horror of what was in front of them?

On another level, who would actually sit in front of a room of strangers naked as the day they were born? So many scars; so much extra skin stretched over hills of years of ice cream; parts that are dimpled that should be smooth; parts that droop that used to perk; and the possibility that a former student would be passed out on the floor after seeing his former teacher in all her naked glory. I will not be responsible for creating nightmares and retching from the horrible site set before the art students.

So, unless I stand at the door with a sign that reads, "If you don't want to see this body nude, please deposit cash here" I guess this art department position isn't in my future.


  1. That's too funny! I love the Kewpie doll, too. Naked as the day he was born. But then I guess back then we weren't too worried about being anatomically correct.

    You never know what some might do in the name of art. I've done equally shocking things, albeit (usually) fully clothed in the name of science...