Saturday, April 17, 2010


Our precious boy will always be this way in our hearts and memories. Eager to play; eager to cuddle; eager to test patience with trash scrounging; eager to have a leash attached and begin an adventure. With his loss our hearts have to be reminded to beat and our breath is forced out of our lungs by sheer willpower. We are so incredibly saddened. Relying on each other for strength is the only way we can put one foot in front of another this past couple of weeks.

My husband actually apologized for being so depressed this week. He revealed that he has never felt as bad as he has because of our loss. Cubby wasn't just a dog; he was an integral member of our family.

Come Monday, when we bring home our new family member, the energy level in the household will be ratcheted up a bit. Having just gone through his neutering process, our little guy will welcome sharing my recliner. We will wait on the porch for my husband to come home from work and greet him. Seeing a smile on my husband's face at the end of a long, stressful day will help my heart to relax and begin to heal. Teaching our new guy to "load up" into the truck for rides will be a skill that is sure to lighten his new master's heart. The enormous weight resting on our chests will lessen the more that our new little guy adjusts to our family. He wouldn't be able to find a family more in need of his warm licks, soft fur and wiggly tail than us.

We do realize that no matter if we found a dog exactly the same color, same breed, etc. there will never be the same dog as the one we lost this week. We can only hope and pray that our hearts will begin beating soon, with the power of unconditional love that only a four legged member of the family can give.

My husband did say that he will continue the search to find the exact same dog as the one we buried, yesterday. He and I both know that it would be impossible to duplicate our sweet boy, but as fresh as the pain is, he is allowed his fantasy. Whatever it takes to get through the days and nights right now.


  1. You won't find another Cubby, but you will have a new personality to shape and form with the new puppy. What a lucky dog to be rescued from a shelter into a home that adores dogs.

    It is a fresh, clean little ball of fur just waiting to grant your every whim.

    I predict that in no time, after the new pup has heard all of the Cubby stories, he will quickly leave his little nose prints all over your lives and show you there is room for more.

    So very sorry that you had to let Cubby go, but as I already told you, it was a selfless act, as is adopting another companion.

    Enjoy your new baby and we all will be waiting to see the new pictures.

  2. This is by far, the worst part of life. My heart goes out to you and yours.

  3. Animals truly have the power to heal. Trust me; I know. And just when I think I couldn't love mine any more, there is always another day ahead in which I find more love to give, and that is returned to me daily a thousand fold.

    Your hearts are shattered in a million pieces right now, and the pain is acute. Let a warm nose and wet doggy kisses do their magic to start patching that heart back together. It will happen.

  4. Here's a brief update:

    The sun rose today, the rain clouds parted and we got out of bed once again. After a simple breakfast, the two of us journeyed to find the perfect collar and leash for our new little guy.

    Red is the color of choice, as his black hair will be a nice contrast and red is my husband's all-time favorite color. Choosing toys took a little more time, as we didn't want the same toys as the ones with Cubby. (In fact our daughter took home a stuffed Hippo friend and the yellow chicken was buried with Cubby, along with his brush.) We found a brush sans the chew marks left by Cubby. He would love to steal anything that wasn't for chewing and leave his mark, so the brush had his baby teeth marks.

    So, now we are ready, with a new collar, leash, chew-proof toy and tender hearts. We will have our new little guy (guess 19 pounds is still little, huh?) tomorrow and our new journey begins. Watch for the posts of our healing, loving, and eventually laughing about how something so little being so important to us.

  5. Yes, the little ones are the ones you gotta watch for. They are little thieves and bandits; they steal kisses and they rob you of all resistance.

    Little? Yeah, 19 pounds is smaller than a couple of my felines. Just the right size for nuzzles and snuggles. I think red is a fine choice; it's funny, but I was thinking the same thing before I scrolled down and saw that you had indeed opted for red. He will love any color you choose, as long as it comes from you, no doubt. I eagerly await your updates of that lucky little dog.

  6. I am so terribly sorry. I know how horrible it is to lose a pet and part of your daily world. It's excruciating and although your new pet will ease the pain your Cubby will always be in your hearts and that's a good thing. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  7. Believe me, without the words of kindness from posters who "get it" this would even tougher for me.

    Thank you all, even those who don't post; I appreciate the positive energy I receive knowing that you've read my pain.