Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Perfect Present

This time of the year is a very busy time for many people.  Stores are crowded, music is playing and cash registers are ringing with the sounds of the season.  There is so much emphasis on finding just the right present for those we love.  Many items are considered until that one special present is selected.  This Christmas Season I have slowed down my hustling and bustling and remember that the most perfect present I have ever received was time with my Grandlove.  This picture was one of many times that I stopped what I was doing to cuddle with Stephen as he ate his meal.  He could cuddle and the world became so focused for me.  He would grab at me and close his beautiful eyes as he napped in my arms.  I knew that each time I held him it was one of the pre-determined times we had left. 

When he was born I listened in the hall and heard what I thought was odd for the early morning hours in the hospital, it sounded like a kitten.  That wasn't a kitten's soft cry, that was my brand new grandson announcing his arrival.  He was a wrinkly mess of love, even then.  Cuddling was our special time together throughout the years.  He slept the most soundly when he was in my arms.  Spoiled?  Naw, just good grandparenting.

Fast forward through many obstacles to a few weeks ago, Thanksgiving week.  He was approaching his angel wings and we all took turns holding, comforting him.  On December 1st, I said that I needed to hold him.  My son-in-law (Stephen's Nathan) gave over the rocking chair and his sweet boy.  Stephen's hospice volunteer and I cleared the living room of all distractions and the house settled down peacefully.  The hours passed with us talking about nonsense, eating cake and drinking tea, until a little after three there was a marked change in Stephen's breathing.  I said, "That's different," as he took a sweet, deep breath.  Susan ran to get Stephen's mom, dad and his Nathan up.  Stephen took two more sweet, deep breaths and then a soft smile was on his lips.  We all kissed him and told him how much we love him, but it was time to run with his friends and fly free of all his pain and suffering. (He had been looking at the angels all week and we knew that he would join them when he was ready.) 

I will never forget that moment that I watched him take his last breath and smile at the glorious angels who had come for him. 

That moment, that is my perfect present.  Can't buy it in the store, can't order it off the internet, can't duplicate it, 'cause it's imprinted on my heart forever.


  1. I am so thankful that you got to have Stephen so near. Every moment you spent with him is one that brought him as much joy and comfort as it brought you. Stephen went peacefully because you all allowed him to go. You gave him the best gift of all--wings. He knows how loved he is. In return, you all get the memories of this precious, adorable angel who touch everyone who met him in a very special and profound way to keep and sustain you.

    I cannot begin to imagine the magnitude of this loss, but please know, even in our ignorance, all of us who love and care about you and your family grieve with you.

  2. Edith Ann said it so eloquently.....You are an amazing mother, grandmother & person, your family is blessed to have you as you are blessed to have them. Stephen was a gift sent from God for y'all to love & protect & from all his pictures, he was the vision of happiness, no matter the circumstance. Y'alls love & adoration cushioned him from his pain. Y'all have earned a universe of gold stars for allowing him to go when God wanted his angel back.

    Y'all have lots of love & prayers still being sent your way today & forever.


  3. As your last moment with your Grandlove was the perfect present for you - your courage, determination and support are the perfect present for your family. You are the glue that binds them and your compassion and unwavering love helps to soften their pain. Keeping your always in my prayers,


  4. This post took my breath away, sweet Ferret. I could never know the depth of your loss, but please know that you and your family are in my heart forever. Stephen was so very lucky to have you all as his loving family.

    God bless that angel child, and you, my sweet friend.