When I acquired my passport, I looked forward the exotic places and extraordinary experiences it would grant me. I have cruised to faraway ports and flown to remote lands, where my experiences were exciting, refreshing and scrapbook worthy. New experiences were so fun. Not knowing what I would find around the next, added to the enjoyment. My passport served me well, as I enjoyed new people, places and challenges. This last year, my official passport has been gathering dust and basically been replaced with the demands of my journey trying to find answers for The Grandlove. Instead of souvenirs from exotic places, I have gathered receipts from hospital parking garages. Instead of tour maps of tropical islands, I have learned the quickest way from lab to the doctor's office. Instead of deciding on which seating would be best for on a cruise, I have learned that the adjoining hospital has a much better selection in their food court. Learning to create creative towel animals on the bed, has been replaced by learning to help the little one overcome his fear of laying on his back during diaper change. Figuring out the current exchange rate, has been replaced by figuring out the correct dosage of "Barbie Plastic" (Miralax) to compensate for muscles that no longer work correctly. Trying to stay awake late enough for the Midnight Chocolate Buffet, has been replaced by appreciating any amount of sleep that the little one can get, on the bed and not in some one's arms. Attending art auctions, has been changed to participating in the therapies scheduled to help with the body that is failing.
My new passport has granted me access to places, people and situations that I didn't even know existed. Our journey hasn't been all horrible, I must say, though. My friends and family members have really stepped in to help anyway that they can. Listening, encouraging and caring are priceless treasures we are granted on a daily basis by those who love us. We have also been fortunate to be given the gift of new people in our lives. Higgins Photography has taken our family into their heart and given us so much love that we are blown away. Other people have shown us that they know they can't take away the pain, but if they can lessen the intensity they will. We are strengthened by our blessings of people who prop us up on a daily basis.
There will be no stamps in my passport for this journey that I am on, no postcards from faraway places and no souvenirs for my curio cabinet. Each day, each smile, each laugh from the Grandlove is priceless and never to be forgotten.
Dearest Ferret, I think of you, your Heart, and your Grandlove often. I do wish there were something, anything I could do to take away all of your pain. All I can offer, I feel, is a friendly ear, a kind word, and a prayer. I feel that even that is not near enough to help you face the monumental task that lies ahead in your uncharted waters, but I do hope you know you are not voyaging alone in this. I and so many people are there with you, right beside.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot a couple of labels at the end of your story: Grandmother, love, strength. These are the things that YOU are. I know time is precious, but if you would just take a look at this:
http://youtu.be/H_a46WJ1viA
You don't even need to look, really, just listen. And know that I am here for you. The music says it so much better than I can.