DECADES: WARP SPEED

If someone would have told me over three decades ago that I would be a grandmother of a loving, beautiful little boy I would have shaken my head in disbelief. Heck, I thought I knew what the future held for me and my future husband when I walked down the aisle to become his wife. I knew that I would have an easy-breezy life; no economic worries; no life-threatening medical issues for anyone I love; steady employment for my husband and white picket fences to help corral our three children. We would have only happy days with rainbows and unicorns. Those were my thoughts and I was clean and sober when I believed all those dreams were mine to claim. After all, I had survived incredible difficult trials and tribulations throughout my earlier years, so it was owed to me.

Our wedding was planned using a very tiny budget, since we were on our own for the most part. My wedding dress was on sale, we kept the guest list short and we served cake, coffee and punch at the reception. We couldn't afford dinner for our guests, a dance, or any other fancy trappings that seem to be part of everyone's weddings/receptions these days. Simple wedding ceremony; a friend to take pictures; quick reception and then we left for a one night "honeymoon" in Corpus Christi. Our Honeymoon room was a gift from my mom and step-dad which helped our budget, also.

In spite of the simplicity of the ceremony, reception and honeymoon we have worked together for the last thirty-one years to battle all the broken hopes and dreams we have endured. Each goal we have mastered, has strengthened our bond as a team. At times, life has been relentless trying to break us, but it is then that we have bolstered each other. When one of has felt weak, the other one has carried the load, until both of us reach inward for the last bit of strength needed to "make it to the finish line."

We now celebrate each other, while sometimes driving each a bit crazy. We tease each other; help each other achieve goals; celebrate each other; frustrate each other over silliness; encourage each other through life's trials; protect each other from the storm; hold each other and love each other like no one else has ever done.


Those two young, naive, know-it-all people didn't marry their best friends. Best friends came out of the union created on that hot summer day so many decades ago. Who would have thought that God's plans would strengthen our relationship, producing two dedicated people who would do anything to make life easier for the other one?

Thank you, God for giving me the man, love and life I have.

This blog is dedicated to the man who has had my back on more occasion than I could ever count. Happy anniversary, Husband. I love you more than you'll ever know.

X: THE UNKNOWN FACTOR IN RELATIONSHIPS

Time and circumstances have brought the X factor into our lives. Daily situations are complicated enough, but now whenever we include our daughter and her son in our lives we have to deal with the X factor. X has to be considered before we can plan on seeing our Grandlove. X has to be consulted before out of town visits with us can be co-ordinated. X is all powerful, as X can demand more parental involvement at a whim. So, we are careful to keep X happy, non-threatening, and co-operative.

Personally, I believe that if X had been more plugged-in, gentle, and less angry in the previous years, this blog wouldn't exist.

Too little, too late and my inner voice is screaming, "WARNING! WARNING! Calm, co-operative manner is a cover-up for destructive agenda!"

Yes, of course I realize that my X factor comes into play, also. My main focus has always been on my Grandlove, so nothing has changed there. With me, I don't hide my emotions, feeling or opinions.

Training a husband: Silk is better than Steel

When I married, I wasn't any spring chicken, so I did know a thing or two about the male species. With that being said, I've learned exactly how much I didn't know about the male species through my interactions with my husband of more than thirty years.

Let's start with the simple idea of expiration dates on milk. I remember clearly, waiting in the car and looking at the huge smile on my husband's face as he handed me the gallon of newly purchased milk, "I really had to look hard, but I finally found today's date!" I thought he was joking, until I read that indeed today's date was stamped on the milk jug.

Taking a deep breath, I calmly explained that even though I appreciated the effort of reading all the dates and finally snapping up the last of "today's date" he would need to go back in and find a date far into the future. I was afraid at this point to tell him to find a date far away from today's date, because I surely didn't want last week's expiration date on our milk. He did huff and puff, but finally he took the jug back into the store and slumped back, wordlessly handing me the milk. To this day, he finds the best date in all the dairy case.

Back when we first married, ice was made in metal trays in our refrigerator's freezer. I suppose that there was a manly rule somewhere that stated that the person who took the last cube was responsible for replenishing the liquid to the tray. I don't know, although I did ask. Aggravation met me many times when I wanted a glass full of ice and there were only two cubes left (one from each of the trays in the freezer.) It got to the point that I began to learn to drink lukewarm sodas and water, until I came up with a brilliant solution. When he wasn't looking I loaded up the freezer with ten ice cube trays, so that at least I would have ten ice cubes, if needed. Many the times I found out the filling all ten trays was an act requiring balance and the ability to hold open the refrigerator's door with my knee, because the freezer door was spring loaded. Finally, a few years ago, we were able to purchase the appliance of my dreams....a refrigerator with an ice maker. No more warm drinks and glares in my husband's directions have decreased remarkably.

We were blessed with my mother for transportation of our daughter from school, except for rare cases when she couldn't because of doctors' appointments. My husband assured me that it wasn't a problem, as his office was only a few blocks from our daughter's school. Armed with sticky notes and verbal reminders, my husband gallantly took up the duty of picking up our girl from school. Luckily, our daughter learned to be calm and not panic, even when she was left standing outside waiting for her dad.
A call to his office, "Dad, how are you?"
"Fine, Hon."
"Dad, how was your day?"
"Okay, what about yours?"
"My day was fine, Dad. Hey, Dad, did you forget anything today?"
A pregnant pause and then, "Nope, don't think so, Hon. Why?"
"You forgot to pick me up at school, I'm still here."
A very pregnant pause, "I'll be right there." He was there in five minutes and she forgave her dad.

Two days later and I won't repeat the above dialogue, as it was basically the same, except, she added, "Again!" to her last statement. So, we all learned an important lesson that week, in spite of adoring someone to the ends of the Earth, you can forget to pick them up from school.

What other lessons have I learned these last thirty some years with the man I love? I know that in spite of all of MY faults (I do have many) he loves me and would do anything to see me smile. He is my closest friend and confidant and the best milk buyer in the world.